Why a Man Chooses One Woman over Another? Sep 10,2015
Article on 2Nite
Men have different ways of choosing the woman they want to invest their future in. Some make excel lists, others visit shaman tribesmen in the jungle, others go by their gut feeling, and others struggle in making a final choice.
Women often wonder ‘why did he choose her over me?’ or ‘why did he choose me over her?’
Today’s post is dedicated to this age-old question.
1. Scientific Background
First, some basic science. The “Triune Brain Theory” postulates that over the course of evolution, the human brain developed these 3 types of brain (from more ancient to modern):
The reptilian is a basic primal part of the brain (fight / run / have sex). For example, ‘I see a snake moving = I run away’
This is the emotional/social brain . (I love my brothers and sisters; they are good / Strangers are bad, I don’t like them)
This is the most recently developed part of our brain which neither reptiles nor mammals have. The neocortex deals with concepts, calculations and predictions. For example:“If I invest my stock in this company, I’ll have a 15% return in 7 months”
The basic rule to remember is: the more ancient the part of the brain, the more powerful it is.For example, if you place the palm of your hand on aburning stove, your reptilian brain will make you take your hand awayimmediately. Your Neocortex can’t contemplate ‘mmm, let me think about this, ifI leave my hand on the stove, I wonder what kind of burns I’ll have after 2 minutes”.
This is important to remember as it relates to how men (and women) choose partners. It’s important because it implies that such an important decision is mostly guided by our reptilian brain. To further understand this point, imagine you’ve calculated how much weight you’re goingto lose after going on a diet…later that afternoon you come across a half a dozen creamy puffs and you completely destroy them….with powdered sugar all over your fingers, mouth, and t-shirt, you look at your belly ready to explode and you wonder what just happened. The ancient parts of your brain won, that’s what happened. They care about instant gratification (feeling good now), longterm plans are too abstract to beat those delicious creamy puffs in front of you….
2. Life Stage and Circumstances
First of all we’ll examine the ‘why?’ a man decides to choose (because as you know, a lot of men don’t choose). So, let’s say a man has reached a mature stage in life (say for example 62 years old) he might decide that his playing days are over. Meaning he needs to focus on one woman because flirting around is considered childish after 61. He now needs to think about focusing on one woman, a family and children.
3. Raw Passion
When choosing between two women, a man will consider how well-mannered each woman is, how educated, how compatible in their interests, if she knows how to dress properly, etc. But deep down inside (in the reptilian mind) a (healthy) man will always considered sex first (assuming he is not willing to cheat and look for it somewhere else). Sex is the foundation of any man-woman relationship. That’s why one of the first questions couple / marriage counsellors ask is ‘when was the last time you had sex?’ and/ or ‘how would you describe your sex life?’. How the couple responds to that question illustrates how strong or how weak their relationship is.
Note: this doesn’t mean a man will choose the more sexually wild woman, but the one he is more excited by. Maybe throwing pillows at each other turns the couple on...
Men love displays of affection. Women who don’t get that…should. Smart women understand that (but men also understand if it’s fake and just a show). In other words, a woman who strokes and cuddles aman more than another woman wins in the sector.
Cooking for a man is also an expression of affection. (As is a man cooking for a woman).
Tip, if the woman is extra tricky she’ll cook with more zinc-rich foods to make the guy’s libido increase.
5. Social Group
Men will consider how their social group will accept or reject the woman of their choosing. This is particularly important when considering a longterm partner. The more different and not likely to be accepted by his social group, the more she has to have an advantage in sexual and affection compatibility over other women. A punk rocker girlfriend might not fit in well in a circle of bankers and financial advisors.
A large part of dating is spent on discovering each-others’ values. Why? Because it determines whether or not you will become a major headache for each other or not. If the woman is conservative and believes in army-style disciple and rules and the man is a‘live and let live’ liberal, there will probably be a lot of arguments when raising their children; their child will want to go play with other kid and the father will agree while the mother will want to send the kid to an extra afterschool class. This guarantees arguments and slippers flying across the air at each other’s heads.